yea, take advantage of me during this point.
for the moment im back on my feet.
i'll make sure i set things the way i want it to be.
try me.

it breaks my heart when mum said that it could be the so called consequence.
let me try to put this.

when Dad took his "realm and divine knowledge"
he broke the laws of it.
it caused him to be mentally unstable.
and some of the consequence of breaking the laws of it might be....
according to my mum, is you cant see your own children.
for fear of either party suffering or people surrounding me suffering.

and if i cant see my dad, that means i cant see my grandma coz she's staying with him!

late grandma on mum's side passed away,
dad quit his job,
grandma on dad's side sickly.
grand dad passed away...

it couldnt be a coincidental incident duncha think so.

i wana run away from all these, but where?

and i manage to broke one family up along the way?
it is too good to be a coincidence.

y decide the way i should live?
Im still capable of choosing what's right for me and what's not.
i know whats best for me, and what's not.

and im not tryna humiliate.
im stating what's right..
i have the right to express it too.

well at least ur much more happier now.

it kills me seeing all this and hearing all that.
and most of all it kills me not to be able to do things like usual.

Labels: the breaking point of life.

[Vibekingz - Save a room for me]

I know you use to tell us coming around,
Telling your dreams but they only bring you down
Got your own thing dont need too much of nothing only the one thing thats hard to find,

Good Lovin

Girl I'm sure you want more
And you deserve everything
So please before you close that door
Save a little room for me
A girl like you so hard to find
I can't let you pass me by
You can take my hand it'll be alright
Can't you see it in my eyes, save a little room

[Chorus:]
Before I make you mine
Try it one more time
Got to make you mine
Save a little room
So I can get to you baby
Follow me all the way to your heart

I know you heard it all time and time again
They say anything to get in
You keep giving in you know its going nowhere
Realise there is no worth no one is really perfect
But someone will put you first.
Girl I'm sure, you want more
And you deserve everything,
So please before you close that door save a little room for me...

[Chorus:]
Before I make you mine
Try it one more time
Got to make you mine
Save a little room
So I can get to you baby
Follow me all the way to your heart

--------------------------------------------

been having this song on my lappy for years.

just wana express. not to depress.

lyrics by,

http://www.kovideo.net/lyrics/v/Vibekingz-And-K-Young/Save-A-Little-Room-For-Me.html

Labels: hear it and read em bold words.

speechless...

i miss.
i need.
i love.
i disappointed.

where do i stand...
i don't understand...

let me speak...
for its the forgiveness that i seek...

let it unravel...

Labels: kill me...

Sad love songs are filling in,

To fit in the mood im in.

Kills me when Im thinkin,

It should be on me tt ur blamin.

Figuring out whats goin on,

For things to have ended up on this song.

Wondering why we not getting along,

Coz im just plain scared to be left alone.

Do I remind u of the pain,

That he put u through, girl?

To make u feel this way again,

As for me you remind me of the world.

Its understood that you’re avoiding,

For the past to happen again.

When it’s the very thing ur avoiding,

That’s happening.

I dun wish to add on to ur misery,

I just hope for u to be happy.

I’d take the extra mile,

Just to see you smile.

We got in this together,

Lets not take forever.

And when I pull u out from drowning in the water,

Believe me, things are goina get better.

I wana show,

That im the best there is to know.

Well not exactly the best,

Coz the greatest in me you’ve yet to know.

My eyes watered,

Feeling torn and tattered.

Dun get this poem wrong,

For I did this when the heart is scattered.

“what happens when green meets blue?

You get me and you!

And just whatever u do,

You’ll always be my Silly Gundu” -Ash.Fresh™

“Red Green Black and Blue

The colours that symbolizes me and you.

Seconds, hours, days and months oh I wish it will last forever

For I want the digit to increase its number.

We may hit bumps on our journey,

But no matter what we’ll stay together and go with the flow.

Oh I miss u right now like someone needs a kidney,

Serious it is that bad that I want u to know.

I want you to throw ur arms arnd and hug me tight,

Assure me we’re gonna make this work and stay away from having to fight.

U shower me with love making me feel like a small baby

Oh I must say im so lucky.

Dear Asraf I just wanna wish you a gd night.

Do take care of urself.

I miss u, love.”

I-sya @

25^th july 08

0005 hrs.

Been loving you since the start.

Labels: sleepless night.

a thousand and one sorry wont change the fact that i spoiled the day.

yet and still.
Dear Aisyah still wana spend the remainder of the time left today on a much happier note.
see! see!....
well she had it!
all thanks to dear Aisyah!
the day ended on a easier more relaxing end, rather than both faces cramped of problems.

anyways.
letting emotions get the better of me.
what was i thinking?

i will make it up to u.
i will.

friends of aisyah, if you're reading this.
im sorry to have caused much trouble.

i let Mrs Silly Sunshine down.
due to what?
my fucken EGO.

leave me alone.
give me a moment to let me get my thinking straight.
get me in the proper state of mind.
not during a Sunday Hangover!

and you suckass doggs better not add on more to the complicacy of this situation.

MOFOS.

on a lighter note.
Ida said i look like jay sean in his video clip Stolen

Labels: you aint messing with Ash Fresh...

Doubt.

is when someone made you lose your trust on them.
after which wild assumptions derives.
after which small matters become big for no reason.
i hate it.

-----------------------------------------------

masked with perfection,
blinded lies and suspicion.
unearthed was one fraction,
wondering if there's anymore revelation.

it feels so good it hurts sometimes,
doing it as though it is a favourite pastime.
and when it all is about time,
cause I'm conveying it through rhyme.

witness my reaction,
after what has happened.
does the fear of my action,
prevents you of more revelation?

yet and again,
you proved something much of a gain.
revealing the honest truth despite having to face the pain,
its an attempt not vain.

im feeling the doubt,
of this and that.
my judgments is on cloud,
cause of little things and some brats.

prove to me there's no second,
im not giving you a good time i reckon.
hoping for you to think on your own,
to make you more independent.

think about it,
those words were said.
dont take too long,
you got too much to think for.

-----------------------------------------

Labels: i hate what im feeling now. period.