its been a while since i last blogged,
apologies for im real busy with dance and stuffs.
apologies to RSC for being MIA due to my dance,
Apologies to my Bukit Panjang homies for not coming down chilling with yall,
apologies to everyone.

the previous week was a wreck for me.
probably one of the worst week i've ever had.

Tuesday;
supposed to be reporting for Reflections opening practise at 9,
but woke up at arnd 9.30 and came to studio at 10.30, knowing i have to do a lot of catching up.

practised at e4,
went back to studio for larry's class.
but was disappointed + pissed coz got knocked out in the 1st round during the Battle larry conducted.
his reason? didnt see what happened when the opposing team crash (-_-")
and i only replied enough for a reply. ouh well, it aint the 1st time im getting like that,
its already the 6-7th time i never get fully involved in a battle, its either im not allowed, or somehow never manage to got thru due to poor judge's skills.
another disapointment.

when studio closing time, i realised i misplaced my hp somewhere and well, you guessed it, i lost it.
sheeshh..

Wednesday;
slept over at thumb's house hoping to be early for the opening practice, but ended up waking up at 12!
went hard for practise, with mood swings in my head.
asked around the Fusion dancers to ask them about any updates,
only to find out i was being kicked out.
well thats fine for me, but thing is, i was being told only when i asked,
what if i nvr asked and still came the next day?
wonderful crewmates aye?

if thats not enough already, i basically got lecturing and Screwing from my advisor, Zaini.
many things he said was like quite ridiculous.
one in particular,
Zaini : do you smoke?
me : yea la, why? ( in a somehow pissed manner)
Zaini : no i just wana know how you all operate.

WTH?
wad does he meant by "operate"?

rahh.

Thursday :
me, yan, ragu, hakim, joann, jason slept over at thumb's house.
next day, we were late for like 1 minute coz obviously we can see the clock the moment we enter e4.
what happens next realli sparked me off.
it goes a lil smth like this
me : eh macaroni ah? sikit?
...: eh you go do ten push up 1st then wait 4 mins there 1st.

what kinda attitude is that?
certainly that sentence can be rephrase so it applies well to both parties.
as i've told many of you, i dun like being ordered to do things.

and basically stoned my way through the day.

Friday:
from 9 am in the morning, my grandma was nagging at me for my skool and stuffs,
i dun like to be disturbed when i sleep!
argued with her for like 3hours + then called to say i was late.
took cab to skool so that i dun miss out much during practise, tearing my eyes out otw there and at e4 itself.
felt so ashamed of myself.

helluva week aint it.

i just hope this week turn out to be better.

i've been dreaming about this one particular thing,
and i couldnt remember until few days ago,
i've been dreaming that i was walking up a hill, high one.
and i was carrying a heavy bag behind me.
but each step i take,
was heavy, was like it doesnt want to move,
like im being pulled back.

this dream, is true...

and i believe theres a meaning to it, in fact alot of meanings.

and i think that of which is that,
all these things that im handling, my problems, my thoughts
and everything that's pulling me back,
prevents me from moving forward.
prevents me from going to the top.

i dun needa be true to u guys, but im being true to myself,
i think god is showing me the path true this hardships.

i think its either i leave the burdens or try to ease them so that i can move on proper.

i thank god for showing me the path that leads to a better life.

i love my Sister, SGC, and my bestfriend Samantha.

i miss RSC.

Labels: Ash Fresh Ash Possible