Ramadhana

"salam akhir, salam yang teristimewa bersamanya"
lyrics of a malay song ringing thru the audio in the cook's paradise.
reminded me of the last few moments with late grandmother.

its the first day of fasting month,
of which usually break-fast is spent at late grandmother's house,
and as usual she'll be having her Air Katira (tadpole drink**)
but two ramadhan went without her, and she's missed dearly.

i looked down as i walked,
not wanting to reveal what's hidden behind the smile.
but i know one thing for sure,
i am, and i will be strong after all this is through.

i went back to my archives and saw that what i wrote in the past, is still relatable now.


I had no one, not a single soul to turn to.
No one, i said no one except for God; He knows how I feel.
No one can ever understand how bad my situation/feelings are ryte now.
Not even my parents, my sister, and also my close friends know about how I feel.

and I dun care if wad I write affects you (the one reading this) or u wana critic about it.

im no sensitive guy, no emo guy. its just Blogging is one means of my sought after.
So if ur against it, piss off before I piss u off.

Feeling in a total distraught.
Life is in a great mess.
I noe im at fault.
Coz it’s a problem tt no one else has.

Feeling like a piece of junk,
That is always thrown around.
Mite as well sleep in a bunk,
Dun needa be nagged all day round.

I know I have friends who care,
And dun mind wad I do
These friends are rare
But they have their own problem too.

Having parents divorced at the age of Four
Never really felt their love and affection,
But who wants this kinda downpour
Wen all I need is juz attention.

To mum: “Remarrying another was ur greatest regret. Tt guy was no different Treats me and sis like a rat And not treating us like a parent.” I guess now I shld shoulder all this problem. By my own it will be, As there’s no one willing to hear ‘em And moving on independently -end of story- Friends, thanx for being there wen ur needed, foes, thanx for the hatred

---------------------------------------

don't mind the language.

---------------------------------------

Im 20, my mind is older,
my face is younger,
and my actions are of a youngster's.
im a fucked up mofo b!

"Problems are not difficult, its just complicated. You just have to find your way through" - Mr Rao my maths teacher back in secondary school. AND I STILL LOVE MATHS!

Labels: Nubia Goddess, will have to wait.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
so i used my third.
The Epiphysis cerebri could see beyond space and time,
and considered a mystery linked to superstition and mysticism.
thus you see the beauty of things beyond its physical.

"fuck the world! i love myself" once a narcissist told me,
"We are the most advanced military in the world" US claims to be.
But instead of spending money and research on war,
why cant they divert it for the poor?

turn off that radio, turn off that bullshit,
manipulating victim's mind into doing something stupid.
from telling you to buy things you don't need,
to turning people into a greed.

Fate, Oneski, Zym, Camou Artist, Predicx, Chipx, Smurf, Oneroc, Isnaidi and Angel.
Individual styles defined with rhythm and passion.
Looking at the table, bringing too much to know its too little.
we a family, nothing beats that.