Chiflado

Waking up to your mother's consistent irritating voice has never felt this good after 5 years of waking up to shit. You might think i am weird, put yourself in the shoes of people who don't get to see their parents because of certain barriers or even get to see their parents forever. Then you'll know how people like us feels.
When my mum woke me up after the first day i went back to her place which was the morning of Hari Raya, i smiled straight as i opened my eyes. a sign of relief after so long. My eyes sweat when i was bathing therafter, it felt so deep down inside.
So deep that there's a soft tingling sensation in my chest as i am typing this down.

"The harmonies possess a sensation similar to your caress" - Turn your lights down low - Bob Marley ft Lauryn Hill.

Everyday i chance upon people who tries hard to be mature, to act mature and react maturely. why oh why? when you only have so short a life to live. No offence to anybody but I'm just saying from my opinion. You may chid me for my childish acts but my point is, i still want to be young, whatever im rockin im still young. I dont want to be following anybody. Doing what everyone else is doing.

So what really is acting mature? Is it chiding someone who's just acting childishly, not join the kids in building their lego sets or cooking their playthings? Or could it be mixing with the older kids so as to know how they think and what they do, but that isnt really the thing because what you did there was following what other people do.

Well in my opinion, being mature is knowing when to be childish and when to be mature.
Being Mature Is Knowing What To Do When.

Labels: Crazy, define chiflado: Nuts, Wild.

Hari Raya has always been a time for me to feel low these years.
Besides buying the "baju melayu" alone and only matching with sister,
Going to geylang would be such a heartache. Seeing families together,
the spirit of that is enough to bring me to knees.
and the major bring down on that day itself is the absence of grandmother.
maybe i'll just go to the main house, sit all alone and just watch tv.
ouh well, im an Unlucky child even at birth, what more now?

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if anyone remember, theres one time where i kept dreaming about smth in my sleep.
about walking up a hill, bringing a heavy bag and having difficulty walking cos its as though im pulled by the bag.
now since 7 days ago im dreaming about it again.
this time round, in a derelicted war-torned urban area,
its like those images of the Bronx decades ago in the days of dark.
and theres one time i had to bring my little step brother along.
i dreamt about pursuing something not within my sight.

i need to know what it means. im going crazy.

if the unconscious part of my mind is sending messages in dreams to try to save us from craziness, i want to know what it is.

Labels: "Love others like how you love yourselves" - Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)